yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
