Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
