What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
