Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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