she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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