She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
