You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
