May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
