I'm gonna have a badass scar
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
