As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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