he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
