does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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