Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
