oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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