you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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