dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
