I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
