Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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