HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
