Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
