our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize