I think i sorta joined a cult last night
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
