I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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