never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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