he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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