The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
