Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
