sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize