i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
