also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
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I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
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Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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