thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
