Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think I died a long time ago.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
