her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
