he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
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The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
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I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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