I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
