I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
