i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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