I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
