The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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