Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
