Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
