Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
