OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
