Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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