we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
