Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
please come you make the beer taste better
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
