We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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