The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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