My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
