the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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