yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize