He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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