In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
