Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
