This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize