Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
